You have seen the photograph of the two people walking down the beach hand in hand, watching the sun set golden and red. Looks ideal, right? Wrong. All couples have problems, no one is perfect. To keep your relationship thriving and healthy you need to follow some tips.
One of the most important factors in a healthy relationship is the amount of quality time you spend alone together. Yes, we are all busy and tired at the end of the day. Collapsing on the couch in front of the TV together does not count as quality time. If you are a couple with children, than you are even more distracted. Many couples with children rarely get any quality time alone together. Of course, babysitters you can trust are hard to find and they also cost money, these are valid issues. Your marriage, though, is something you should not neglect. Keep your marriage strong and spend meaningful time together at least once a month.Your children will benefit from strength of your marriage and the loving connections you develop with your partner. Model a healthy adult relationship for them.
You are your partner do not need to go to an expensive restaurant. Go to a diner and have coffee, buy a hotdog on a street corner, however you want to swing it, the point of this outing is alone time with your spouse. You don't have to force it, just relax into the moment. This may be weird or uncomfortable at first, especially if you have not been out together alone in a long time. Just trust that spending time together will start the process of reconnection and every relationship needs that kind of time.
I want to remind you that this quality time needs no help from your cell phone. Of course, bring the phone in case the babysitter needs to get in touch, but keep in in your pocket. You do not need to participate in a Twitter discussion or rechecking Facebook for updates. Unless you are a doctor on call to deliver a baby or transplant an organ you do not require your phone. Put the phone away. Here is the truth. When you keep your phone on the table you check it and scroll through the messages. Those actions tell the other person that they are not worth your full attention. Be honest, you are only halfway there, in a state of constant distraction. So, put the phone away. Be in the moment 100% with your partner. Listen, really listen to what they are saying. Look at their face, their expression. Speak directly to them, respond to what you heard them say. Engage in the present with your partner. If you do neglect to do this, someone else may fill your place. Invest in your relationship now.
All relationships have their regular cycles of rough patches and smooth sailing. This is natural. Have you had a couple that tells you that they have no problems, that they have a perfect relationship? Don't believe them. Every relationship has there highs and lows.Comparing your relationship to another relationship will just end in heartache and drama. Evaluate your marriage on it's own merits, not on a false yardstick of measurement.
Take a time out when you fight. Of course you should keep a level head and not overreact during a fight, but most people don't have that kind of presence of mind. Maybe Tibetian monks cultivate that kind of enlightened calmness. Get your head together and regain your perspective. Then you can resolve the fight.Make sure to work everything out in a timely manner, ideally within that day. Often it becomes harder and more difficult to make amends as more time passes. We all know a story about a huge family fight that got out of control. The argument between two people pulled in other family members and children. Often the core of these disagreements is unclear, but one thing that does keep them going is foolish pride.This kind of drama is to be avoided. Use your reflection time away from the fight to crystalize what you were really angry about. Keep it simple. Return and explain your position to your spouse. Stay calm. Offer two realistic solutions for your partner to consider as ways to resolve the situation. Then make up.
Couples don't always get to the make up stage because they get caught up in their own outrage and pride. One woman told me that she hadn't been intimate with her husband for going on 10 years. The cause of this long fight was over "housecleaning". This man and woman still lived in the same house, slept in the same bed and raised their two children during the decade they were fighting.The kids have watched their parents relationship grow cold and unhealthy. What has the daily effect been from living in the same home with a toxic parental relationship? How will they take this information into their own future relationships?
Bypass all of the negative and make a conscience decision to have intimate moments with your partner. Put the kids to bed earlier one day out of the week. Take that extra time as a couple.Don't get right into the bed. Savor the process. Put some candles out, take a shower together or give each other a massage. Make the time to enjoy each other on a regular basis. These intimate moments will help strengthen the foundation of your relationship, creating something you can build on.
You need to take care of your relationship; no one else is going to do that for you. Reading a book won't do it. Make sure to take yourself out of fights that get too heated. Cool down and get really clear on what you are actually arguing over. Keep your long term goals, like staying married, in the forefront of your mind. Come back to your spouse and tell them what really bothers you, just the essentials. Give them two realistic solutions to the problems you are having. Look at your partner's face and listen to what they have to say. Start your make up process soon, don't wait a whole week. Don't let issues spiral out of control. Keep your relationship healthy and strong with regular alone time together and intimate moments.
For more informations about relationship tips and secrets, check out this site, http://www.savemymarriage.info/category/ways-to-save-my-marriage-girlfriend-advice-for-the-bedroom/ . Another article that I;m sure you'll like is Save My Marriage Today Review here, http://www.savemymarriage.info .
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