After sitting in the airport for two hours my husband, Barry, wandered off to find lunch.
Our delayed flight had been pushed back again and again for two hours. I sat near the boarding gate, listening for an flight update. Shortly after my husband left our plane arrived.
I was calm; there was still lots of waiting to do. The passengers had to wait for cleaning and fueling up. After thirty minutes had passed there was still no sign of Barry. Anyone with special needs or small children was asked to start boarding our plane.
I double checked the time.
Was Barry out of range of the boarding announcements? I moved in my uncomfortable chair. Should I wait here for his return?
Regular ticketed passengers started to line up un front of me, waiting to board our plane. Had something gone awry? Where was my husband?
I hefted our bags up and went to retrieve my husband.
I found Barry in line at a pizza place. Barry's lunch was ordered and he was waiting for his special order.
I told Barry that the plane was boarding and we had to leave that minute. The flight attendant made the final boarding call for our flight number over the loud speaker. Barry wanted to wait for his lunch; he was starving and his pizza was bought. I needed to get on our plane and fly home. He refused to leave the counter for his order; his special order would be right out.
I left, racing to catch the plane if I could. Halfway to the gate I stopped. I was out of breath, but there was something more stopping me.
What was I really running for? I didn't have to work the next day. I was deserting my husband in an airport restaurant.
We were married for just 9 months. Was I really in this marriage for the good times and the bad? All of Barry's problems were clear when we got married. I was aware of his negative and positive traits beforehand. I could make a detailed list his faults. Like many other women, I thought I could "fix" his problems after we were married.
Now we were married and I had made a commitment to my husband. He wasn't just a boyfriend I could causally break up with, Barry was my husband. Where were my priorities? Was my life still just all about me? Where did my marriage fit into my priorities? I knew I was correct about catching our flight, but being right didn't seem to measure up in this situation. I couldn't leave Barry in an airport while I went home.
It is easy to get married and be dazzled by the romance of picking out dishes and towels. The reality of being married means making accommodations for the other person even if they are irrational with hunger. The truth was that there would be times in the future that I would make irrational choices as well. How did I want to be treated? So, it came down to the promises I had made to Barry when we got married. I had given my word to stand by my husband, and it was that simple.
Barry had chosen to sit at an orange table with his meal. I left my bag with him and got my own special order lunch. Everyone has their own moments of realization and that was mine about a decade ago. Since then there has been a mix of sunny and stormy days in our marriage. We stayed together and that alone is more than most people can count on. All good marriages need effort from both parties to keep them going.
But all relationships need help once in a while. In an age when the divorce rate is 50% it is hard not to think about it as an alternative. I've been there, I know it. After a decade of marriage I have tasted to possibility of break up. My relationship was on the rocks.
I had been ignoring the situation. My days were busy so it was easy to put an uncomfortable discussion off. No one wants to put themselves out there. Finally, Barry confronted me with news that he wanted a divorce.
I could feel my palms start to sweat but inside I went numb. Was this what it had really come to? All I knew was that I needed to save my marriage today, save my marriage this minute, save my marriage this very second. In my desperate search I started to work on my own issues. Working on those issues, my own issues, attracted Barry to the process and he decided to join in. Our marriage has become much stronger since then.
For more information about how to save your marriage, check out this site, http://savemymarriage.info/category/save-my-marriage-tips-and-secrets/
Another article I'm sure you'll like is Save My Marriage, here
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