segunda-feira, 11 de fevereiro de 2013

Valentine's Day With A Twist - You'll Regret Not Reading This Gem From Uncle Jacques

Valentine, since we first met there has been something I have been meaning to say to you. It's your eyes I think, they have been clouding my vision and it may be possible that I have fallen deeply in love with you.

Mais, c'est pas grave (but, it is not serious), because it's just a little bit of amour (love), and if you want to come to France, then you are going to need to know a little more about it.

I'm sorry if I came on a bit strong my little piglet, but this is the way we do things en France, and if you are going to live here, or spend your vacances (holidays) here, you'll have to accept it.

We know you don't like sex. You are British and sex for you is perhaps a way to keep warm or worse still a necessity. Your film stars and celebrities are not attractive and your idea of a hot date is a week in Tenerife. Now I may seem a little harsh, but this is only because I speak the truth and if you want to come and live in France you are just going to have to get well… sexier!

Love and romance go great with sex and to understand that you are going to have to get over the fact that sex is not a four letter word and for that matter some four letter words are no longer four letter words either.

In my time here at Holiday Home Advice France I have demonstrated that many words from our beautiful language form the foundation of your clumsy English and nowhere is this more true than in the vocabulary of love.

From lingerie to orgasme, it's hard to spend an evening alone with your loved one without coming across a hundred such words. (Please for the time being remember you are British or we will never get through the next few paragraphs without giggling…)

So let's pretend you've gone and done it and moved to France. Well you might be wondering what dating is like in France. Perhaps you're single or you just don't want to seem out of place when you're out with your other half.

Well if you're female, you probably didn't pass customs at Charles De Gaulle without realising that French men can be a bit forward. So you can expect more approaches, cheesy lines and even a little bit more touchy feely than you perhaps might be used to. Don't worry though, French men aren't sexual predators, they are just a bit less shy than the blokes you might be used to. No, for real fatal attractions you'll have to visit Italy, just make sure you're packing pepper spray.

Of course if you are a bloke then you'll find French women are used to these sorts of approaches and therefore usually more tolerant of it than your English fillies. So fire up your best lines and stroll up to them as if you own a yacht.

You'll be pleased to know that I am planning more detailed dating articles for both sides in the near future, but this Valentine's Day I thought I'd just touch on the idea that we French invented love and romance and indeed sex and that neither is dead on our sandy shores, up our lofty mountains and in our beautiful cities… So happy Valentine's from your favourite Uncle Jacques.

Who exactly is Uncle Jacques? He is the French lifestyle guru at France Holiday Home Advice. Read myths about the French, fashion advice and more from him. Plus check out the site's great travel and specialist advice guides.

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